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1. I collect travel alarm clocks. I was in a flea market in France once, in 1994, and I opened up this beautiful Jaeger-LeCoultre folding eight-day winding clock folded into a beautiful case, and I went, ‘Wow, man.’ And I’ve been collecting travel alarm clocks since 1994.
2. The wealthy don’t have any sense of humor. It’s not like the English, where the theater is perhaps the one place where they have a sense of humor about themselves.
3. Morning Joe was boring. Scarborough is neither eloquent nor funny.
4. When I get onstage in a play, I feel very safe, very protected, very fulfilled.
5. I think Jerry Lee is sad. As a musician, he was far more talented than Elvis Presley. Everybody down in Memphis knows that. Elvis became a movie star because he was beautiful. Not that Elvis wasn’t talented, but Jerry Lee Lewis was incomprehensibly talented as a musician.
6. I think I do want to go into politics. I really, really do. And I don’t know if I will.
7. I remember during my lifetime I would meet women, and it was almost like God would say to me, ‘Now, this woman here is not the one you are going to end up with, but she is going to be a lot like this woman; look at this woman, study this woman.’ And when my wife showed up, He was like, ‘You recognize her now?’
8. When I told my parents, ‘I’m going to be an actor,’ they screamed and wept and freaked out.
9. I think my exact comment was that if Bush won it would be a good time to leave the United States. I’m not necessarily going to leave the United States.
10. If MSNBC went off the air tomorrow, what difference would it make? If the ‘Huffington Post’ went out of business tomorrow, what difference would it make?
11. Everybody had posters in their room; everybody had the four symbols of Zeppelin on the wall and all that.
12. I hope people will learn more about agriculture in America. About locally grown farming and about water conservation. About how much pollution results from beef and pig farming.
13. My brothers were funny, and there was a lot of shtick and comedy and nastiness and violence and fighting and sports.
14. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I probably would never work again.
15. There are shows that are monolithic successes on TV that nobody in the business ever watches one episode of.
16. All actors have a significant amount of vanity about work, and necessarily so. Things they will do and won’t do, and I’ve completely lost all of that. I don’t care.
17. I consider myself a pretty good conversationalist, but you wind up being downgraded to idiot status when you don’t speak the language!
18. If Hank Williams Jr. wasn’t such a pathetic, wheezing fossil, I’d have a talk with him.
19. I have always wanted to do a show where I could stay home. When you make movies, you might as well take a dart and throw it at a map.
20. We all have that moment when we think, ‘Hand me that Oscar now — you don’t even have to have the ceremony’.