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1. As a general rule, when your child, or anyone in the work force, doesn’t know what he/she wants to do, they should instead always be developing skills and competencies that will qualify them for the jobs that companies are most looking to fill and increase their hireability.
2. Self-esteem is crucial to how much or how little contentment you feel at the end of your life.
3. One word that seems to connect both leaders and employees is: ‘outcomes.’ Built into that word is the implicit and explicit understanding and agreement that effective actions lead to good outcomes; ineffective actions lead to poor outcomes.
4. Know what’s important and what isn’t. Have the wisdom to know the right thing to do, the integrity to do it, the character to stand up to those who don’t, and the courage to stop those who won’t.
5. When you listen with memory, you have an old agenda, and when you listen with desire, you have a new one. You can’t listen to the other person if your agenda is overtaking you.
6. Every business needs to get out of their own mindset and into the aspirational mindsets of their customers and clients and create services and products that are beyond their customers’ imagination but will be what they ‘gotta have’ in the future.
7. If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
8. When you’re actually talking over someone, it’s as if you’re just pontificating and they’re not even there. And their body language — they’re trying to get away from you. And if you’re pontificating at an audience, and there’s a break, the non-martyrs in the audience are not going to come back. I mean, they just want to get away from you.
9. Lousy, ineffective actions lead to lousy outcomes. Terrific, effective actions lead to terrific outcomes.
10. Salespeople are in the decision business. Their livelihood depends on the decisions of others.
11. Terrorism thrives when the gap between the ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’ becomes so wide and when the ‘have nots’ reach the point of such desperation, pain, and agony that they have nothing to lose.
12. Self-esteem should not be confused with self-confidence. Self-confidence is believing in your competence and your ability to do something, whereas self-esteem is believing in your goodness.
13. Have you ever heard someone tell a story but felt they are just mouthing the words without being emotionally connected? When you do this, you often create a more negative reaction than if you hadn’t told a story at all. That’s because others can see that you’re just going through the motions.
14. If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
15. If, during childhood, you were fortunate to have a parent who drilled into you, ‘You can be anything you want to be if you try hard enough at it,’ and then supported you in actions, that is something you take with you all your life.
16. The most influential people strive for genuine buy-in and commitment — they don’t rely on compliance techniques that only secure short-term persuasion.
17. Connecting is always better than disconnecting.
18. The best way to learn to be present and develop presence is to have the experience of someone you respect and admire being present with and for you.
19. It’s no fun being a salesperson when it feels like you’re talking to a wall. That’s what it feels like when you haven’t learned your customer’s points of interest.
20. In my executive advising role, my persona, which seems to work very well with both women and men, is being ‘the big brother you always wanted.’ I am fortunate to have two such big brothers, so this isn’t just a theoretical construct.