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1. In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.
2. I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
3. You sparkle with larceny.
4. The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you’re in.
5. A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
6. To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
7. I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, ‘Have you read — .’
8. There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
9. To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
10. Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
11. Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
12. I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
13. A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
14. Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
15. The first hundred years are the hardest.
16. I’d rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
17. All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
18. Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
19. The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
20. If you count all your assets you always show a profit.